Q&A with Lindsay Carroll
What is the difference between sexual violence, sexual assault, rape, and sexual harassment?
Sexual violence is the broadest term that encompasses all harmful and traumatic sexual experiences. Sexual assault, rape, and sexual harassment are all forms of sexual violence. This term also includes abusive comments, cat calling, nonconsensual sharing of explicit photos, voyeurism, exhibitionism, coercion etc. The difference between sexual assault and sexual violence is that not every form of sexual violence is codified in law as criminal.
Sexual assault includes criminal acts that are sexual in nature, from unwanted touching and kissing, to rubbing, groping or forcing the victim to touch the perpetrator in sexual ways. Sexual assault overlaps with rape, because the term includes rape.
Rape is a legal term that an individual can be charged with. What constitutes rape may vary across states/jurisdictions, but typically it is defined by penetration of the vagina or anus with a body part or object.
Sexual harassment is another broad term that includes unwanted sexual attention, gender harassment (disparaging individuals based upon their gender) and coercing an individual into sexual acts using threats or bribes.
What constitutes consent?
There are so many ways to break down and understand consent! Verbal consent is best as it is clear and direct communication. I love to use Planned Parenthood’s acronym FRIES: Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, Specific and explore what this means for each of my clients. I also use the “CONSENT: It’s as simple as tea” video.
How do I know if I’ve given consent or if my partner has given consent?
Verbal consent is the best, most clear way to confirm that there is consent in the sexual act. This is what makes trust and emotional safety are so important in relationships. They provide the strong foundation needed to provide clear communication and understanding of consent. You can feel comfortable telling your partner “I don’t want to do this” or “this does not feel good” and trust they will respect your boundaries. On the flip side, you can confirm the exchange is consensual by asking “is this okay?” “Do you like this?” “Does this feel good?” “Do you want to keep going” etc.
When does rape or sexual assault typically occur?
Every 68 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted (RAINN). With this high of frequency, it can happen ANYWHERE and at ANYTIME.
My friend was assaulted and I’m struggling with how to offer support. What can I do?
Recognize in that moment the strength and vulnerability it took for that person to disclose to you, and honor this for them. Be careful not to express doubt or make shaming statements “are you sure…” or “why didn’t you…”. Let them know they were brave for telling you and that you believe them. Listen without trying to problem solve for them. If you are at your capacity of support, that is okay! Let them know you’re glad they came to you, but you don’t feel equipped with the knowledge they need to fully heal, and offer to help them find a therapist or resources. Here in Fairfax County, we have The Office for Women and Domestic and Sexual Violence Services which is a great local resource that has a 24-hour hotline (703-360-7273). There is also a 24-hour National Sexual Assault Hotline available (1-800-656-4675). RAINN is an incredible resource with tons of info and links to further resources!
How do you approach therapy for victims of sexual assault?
With humility- while I may have a lot of knowledge working in this field, I don’t know the survivor or their story. I want to ensure their story is told in their own voice, and heard for what it means for them. I truly find the persistence of the human spirit inspiring, and I feel grateful for client’s willingness to share their brave vulnerability with me. While the stories are traumatic, I find it so beautiful to see individuals committed to healing. With this commitment, I know that we will make healing attainable.
Is there anything you do to ensure a comfortable environment for patients?
Sage House is such a beautiful, calming environment! The neutral and muted color palette helps foster as sense of tranquility, alongside the greenery, ambient lighting, and relaxing music playing. Collectively, this helps create a comfortable space for clients. If I know a survivor is coming to me because of an experience with sexual trauma, I gently name it in the first session to demonstrate that I am not afraid of it and can handle discussing it. This also helps me assess their level of avoidance in acknowledging it based on their response. I let them know that while it will be important to discuss, it is important they first feel safe with me, and that their safety in our work is our first treatment goal (prior to working through their trauma).
Any unique techniques you utilize?
Art therapy! It is a beautiful way to contain emotional experiences and allow distance that provides insight and understanding. Art can also be used to help create safety, triangulating trust between the client, the therapist, and the artwork. It provides a sense of grounding for discussing challenging memories. There are so many ways I like to use art in sessions! I also am certified in Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TFCBT), which is an evidenced-based treatment originally developed to treat child and adolescent survivors of sexual abuse.
