How To Cope When You Love Someone with Alzheimer’s
September 21st is World Alzheimer’s Day and this year we’re looking at coping mechanisms for those who have loved ones who suffer from Alzheimer’s. This month is a great time to increase awareness, educate, and destigmatize dementia.
According to the Alzheimer’s Association, more than 6 million American’s are living with Alzheimer’s, and one in three seniors die with Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia. It is a more deadly disease than prostate or breast cancer combined.
Today we will be discussing coping mechanisms for caregivers or those of us who have loved one’s with dementia. More than 11 million American’s provide unpaid care to people with Alzheimer’s and other dementias. Those 11 million caregivers provided more than 16 billion hours of care in 2021, which equates to nearly $272 billion.
Caregivers or loved ones of people with Alzheimer’s face difficult challenges as they try to understand the behavior changes of the person they’re caring for. Some common behaviors of people suffering from dementia include:
Getting emotional more easily
Acting uninteresting in hobbies or activities that used to intrigue them
Repeating the same questions or information
Paranoid behaviors like hiding things from people or imagining things that aren’t there
Pacing a lot or wandering away from home
Hitting caregivers or other people
Behaviors like this can feel overwhelming for loved ones and caregivers. As the disease progresses, it’s easy to forget that your loved one is still present. When the disease eventually takes over, caregivers become the hands, feet, and mind of their loved one. It’s important to understand that caring for someone with Alzheimer’s can be extremely rewarding.
Here are some ways caregivers can cope with the challenges of caring for someone with dementia:
1. Set realistic goals.
Dementia progresses quickly and it can be frustrating for caregivers when their loved ones can’t communicate effectively or remember faces or names. When we set unrealistic goals, it can leave us even more disappointed and exhausted. Start with goals like making sure your loved one is clean, comfortable, and well fed. Allowing yourself to have 75 or 80 percent success can leave you with more room to enjoy time together with your loved one instead of constantly fretting about your goals.
2. Accept and anticipate misinterpretation.
Like we said above, as diseases like Alzheimer’s or other dementias progress, patients need constant reminders and can forget faces or names of their loved ones. It’s important to anticipate misinterpretations like this and accept their inevitability. Try to be clear and concise with your communications by using the same words when you repeat messages. When you’re trying to communicate, make sure there isn’t any extraneous noise in the background like the TV or radio. Use specific names instead of pronouns. It’s okay to become frustrated when repeating the same messages over and over but communicating effectively can alleviate some of that stress.
3. Reminisce about the past.
Discuss and connect over shared memories that evoke positive emotions for both of you. You can watch old family videos or look through old photo albums and talk about them. Memories from the distant past are not usually affected by dementia. Allow your loved one to share the memories of parents, siblings, or grandchildren they have from the past. This can be a fun activity for everyone and allows your loved one to feel more connected to you.
4. Enjoy the good times.
Often times, people with Alzheimer’s and dementia remain physically fit and socially capable long into the disease. Therefore, you can continue to travel, be physically active, socialize, and find activities that are enjoyable for the both of you. Familiar activities often remain enjoyable for people with dementia and are encouraged. Learning new hobbies or trying new activities can be overwhelming for people with dementia, so stick to the stuff you know your loved one enjoys.
If you are struggling with caring for a loved one with dementia, please reach out to us. Our team of therapists is here to provide support and guidance. We look forward to connecting with you.