How to Talk to Your Child About Eating Disorders
Next week marks Eating Disorder Awareness Week, and we’re shining a light on what to do if you’re concerned your child is at risk for developing an eating disorder.
According to Johns Hopkins All Children’s Hospital, 30 million people in the U.S. have an eating disorder and 95 percent of people with eating disorders are between the ages of 12 and 25. Eating disorders have the highest risk of death of any mental illness and it affects all genders, races and ethnic groups.
Eating habits are a tricky topic to navigate for parents. Weight and food are often sensitive subjects for teens, so it’s important that your child feels safe to say how they’re feeling.
When you start communicating with your child about eating disorders depends on their age and where they are in their emotional development. There is no formal protocol of when and where to bridge these topics with your child, so use your best judgement to determine when they are ready for this knowledge.
What is an eating disorder?
Eating disorders are serious, complex and even life-threatening mental illnesses. They are characterized by disturbances in behavior surrounding food and eating habits. There are several types of eating disorders, including binge eating disorder, bulimia nervosa, anorexia nervosa, and avoidant or restrictive food intake disorder. It’s important to research and understand all the signs and symptoms of the various types of eating disorders.
If you’re concerned about your child developing an eating disorder or you’ve noticed disturbing behaviors surrounding food intake, hear from our clinician Kate Mullins on what to do in that situation.
How would you communicate with your child if you were concerned they had developed an eating disorder?
I strongly encourage all parents to consider “Intuitive Eating” principles when nurturing a child’s relationship to food, and a “Health at Every Size” approach to supporting them with body image.
If you’ve started to observe any patterns of restriction, binging or purging: I would encourage you to take a deep breath and try to remove parental shame from the equation. I recommend finding a quiet and peaceful moment to approach your child, ideally not when they are on their way out the door.
It’s important to start with neutral, non-judgmental facts about what you’ve noticed, such as “I’ve noticed you haven’t been eating your lunch.” Take a beat and see what they say, do they agree? Are there any emotions that come up in response? It’s important to validate however they feel, such as “I agree, it’s hard to find time to eat, and sometimes it’s difficult to eat when we’re stressed.” After agreeing on some objective facts, and validating how they feel about the facts, you can bring up your concerns by being curious. “I’m wondering if there are any other reasons why you’re not eating your lunch, are you concerned about eating around other people? Are you struggling with feelings about your body?” They may be receptive to your concerns, but they may also deny them. It’s okay if you need to have multiple conversations with them before taking the next step. At some point you could recommend that they meet with an eating disorder therapist or an eating disorder dietitian to explore their patterns with food and movement. If you notice concerning symptoms such as weight changes, dizziness, constipation, or fatigue, I strongly recommend making an appointment with your pediatrician to assess the severity of the symptoms.
If you are concerned about your child or a loved one developing an eating disorder, please reach out to us. Our team of therapists is here to provide support and guidance. We look forward to connecting with you.
