Q&A with Lauren Campbell
1. What is the difference between transgender, gender nonconforming, genderqueer, and nonbinary?
All of these terms are about gender identity. Transgender, gender non-conforming, genderqueer, and nonbinary are all terms that differentiate an individual’s gender identity, or how one personally feels or experiences their gender internally (male, female, both or neither of these). Gender is different than one’s sex. The sex one is assigned at birth based on the physical features of their genitalia or sex organs, may differ from the sex one’s gender identity. Some people may use a few of these terms interchangeably, and some do not, so it’s good to know how each term is specifically defined.
In recent years, you may have noticed it becoming more commonplace for people to share or ask others what their pronouns are (he/him, she/her, or they/them) in social settings as well as in the workplace. Understanding why someone may use certain pronouns is essential to understanding gender identity and why it is so important to people.
It’s always best to use the language and labels that a person identifies with. When someone tells you about their gender identity or pronouns, it’s more than simply a “preference.” Rather, it is integral to who they are and how they are known by others.
When a person’s assigned sex at birth and gender identity are the same, they're called cisgender.
Someone who is transgender, on the other hand, is an individual whose gender identity (how they feel) and assigned sex at birth (how their genitalia and physical features look) and are not the same. Sometimes the word transgender is shortened to just trans, trans*, or trans male/trans female.
Transgender people express their gender identities in many different ways. One’s gender presentation may be expressed through their clothing and appearance, behaviors, and mannerisms that represent the gender that feels most authentic. Some trans people choose to seek medical treatment such as hormone therapy or surgery to attain bodily attributes that better match their own unique gender identity, while others will not. Whether someone has transitioned socially, medically, both, or has only begun to acknowledge their gender identity privately, makes them no more or less “real” as a trans or gender nonconforming person.
Gender non-conforming means that a person’s gender expression doesn’t fit within traditional male or female categories. Gender non-conforming individuals may use pronouns they/them or a combination of pronouns, such as she/they or he/they, rather than simply he/him or she/her, and may present themselves with attributes of male/female gender expression, neither, or some combination based on what feels most authentic to each person.
Genderqueer is an umbrella term that describes people who do not identify as male or female, or they may be someone whose identity lies outside the traditional gender binary of male and female. Some people use genderqueer, gender nonconforming, and non-binary interchangeably, but others don’t.
Like the terms genderqueer or gender non-conforming, non-binary also refers to when someone feels their gender identity is not solely male or female.
Non-binary people can use any pronouns, use any label, and present gender in any way regardless of assigned sex organs or expressions of gender that may resemble one sex or another. They/them pronouns are commonly used by non-binary individuals, sometimes in addition/combination/interchangeably with she/her or he/him pronouns.
It’s always okay to ask someone what their pronouns are rather than assuming, which could potentially invalidate someone’s gender identity, or unintentionally place someone in a position that makes them feel unsafe if in a public setting.
2. What does it mean for a person to be transgender?
Transgender is a term that describes people who have a gender identity or gender expression that differs from the sex that they were assigned at birth. Transgender people are diverse in their gender identities, gender expressions, and sexual orientations. Sexuality is something different than gender identity, and a transgender, gender non-conforming, or non-binary person can be gay, lesbian, straight, pan, asexual, or bisexual, just like someone who is cisgender can be.
Some trans people will choose to transition their gender expression medically, physically, or socially and some do not. For those who do choose to transition, not all transition in the same way. Transitioning may entail medical assistance with surgery or hormone therapy, change in one’s appearance, choice of clothing or grooming, mannerisms, use of language, general performance of gender, and how they relate/present to others in a social context. For example, one may choose to transition socially, but not medically.
3. How do you know if you are transgender?
How does any one individual come to know what their gender identity is? We all develop an awareness of our felt sense of gender identity. It is not a sign of unwellness to have times in life when one more closely considers or questions what feels most comfortable and authentic in their expression and understanding of their gender identity. Even if you are unsure or experiencing a period of questioning or exploration, your personhood and gender identity are valid no matter what stage you may be in.
Some people know that they’re trans from a very young age, even as young as age 3 or 4 when children are just becoming aware of self and gender. For others, it may not be something they fully understand about themselves until later in life, though they may recall early experiences of when they began to notice certain expressions of gender they were drawn to such as hair or clothing. It’s also not uncommon for the terms or language a person identifies with to change over time, which is normal and okay, as people will change in many ways over time throughout different chapters of their life.
4. Is there a polite way to ask about someone’s gender identity?
Yes, absolutely. One of the easiest ways to make space for learning someone’s pronouns is to share your own when you introduce yourself. “Hi, I’m Lauren. My pronouns are she/her.” Asking about someone’s pronouns can be as simple as asking their name. “What are your pronouns?” will do just fine. Assuming someone’s pronouns or guessing can be invalidating, hurtful, and even potentially dangerous to someone depending on the setting.
It’s important to respect the language someone uses to describe themselves. Transgender and gender nonconforming people use many different terms to describe their experiences and not all terms fit all people. It’s important to ask people what language they want you to use and to always refer to them by the name and pronouns they have identified.
(Following in red is taken directly form the Planned parenthood Website: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/gender-identity/transgender/whats-transphobia )
Most people want to treat others with respect; however, even someone with good intentions can still cause pain, embarrassment, or offense. Such moments are an opportunity to listen to a transgender person’s concerns, learn more about gender identities and language, and work to improve how you use language that may be inaccurate or offensive.
Some important tips for how to speak or not speak about someone’s gender identity from Planned Parenthood:
· Don’t ever use slurs against transgender people.
· Don’t ask personal questions about a transgender person’s genitals, surgery, or sex life.
· Avoid giving trans people compliments that are actually insults. Some examples include: “You look just like a real girl!” or “I never would have guessed you were transgender!”
· Don’t believe stereotypes about trans people or make assumptions about them.
· Be a vocal supporter of the transgender community, regardless of your own gender identity.
· Let the transgender people in your life know that you’re a friend and ally.
· Educate yourself on transgender issues.
· Respect someone’s decisions about when and where to come out.
· If you don’t know a person’s preferred pronouns or name, ask them.
· Use gender neutral language, such as “they” and “them” or “folks” and “people” instead of “he/she” or “girls and boys.”
· Respect trans people’s chosen pronouns and names and use them.
· Remember that being transgender is just one part of a person’s life.
· If you feel safe doing so, speak up when other people are being transphobic, like making transphobic jokes, using slurs, or bullying or harassing someone because of their gender identity.
5. What kind of mental health hardships do trans people face?
Trans people are a marginalized, minority group, making up an estimated 1.4% of youths and 0.3% of adults in the United States. Marginalized groups face a variety of challenges and inequality in rights, respect, access to opportunities, and acknowledgement in daily life. Many people in the US unfortunately hold onto biased, damaging beliefs about trans and gender non-conforming people. Transphobia, or the fear, hatred, disbelief, or mistrust of transgender or gender nonconforming people often prevents transgender and gender nonconforming people from living full lives free from harm.
Trans people may experience a number of difficulties both external and internal as a response to the treatment they receive from their community. Transphobia and targeted attacks from bigoted groups or individuals, gender dysphoria, depression, PTSD, exclusion, and acts of violence, higher risk of suicidality, inequality of rights, limited access to informed, safe, and affordable medical care, attempts/pressure from religious and political institutions and individuals to undergo conversion, and strained family dynamics are all common hardships trans people may face.
Trans people may have health care needs related to their transition that require gender-affirming, informed care. Accessing safe, affordable, and affirming medical and mental health care can be challenging for transgender people. Not all medical or therapeutic professionals are uninformed about trans issues and healthcare needs of trans people. Many trans people experience worry about revealing their gender identity regardless of whether they wish to transition medically. They may not feel comfortable with being examined by a medical professional, especially if someone lives in an area where bigotry and transphobia are more rampant.
Transphobia is unfortunately not uncommon in the United States, and shows up in social spaces, workplaces, schools, medical treatment facilities, government, justice system, and very much in online social spaces where targeted content and commentary pages provide a layer of anonymity for transphobic rhetoric to spread. Transphobia can present as irrational fear and misunderstanding, disbelief or discounting of pronouns or gender identity, derogatory language, name-calling, bullying, abuse, and even violence and murder. Bias and negative beliefs about trans people may also manifest in subtle forms of discrimination; for example, people who are transgender or even just thought to be transgender, may be denied jobs, housing, or health care, just because they’re trans.
Trans people who have experienced trauma as a result of transphobia, whether directly or vicariously through loved ones, acquaintances, or news stories within the trans community, may struggle with mental health challenges such as depression, substance abuse, self-harm, and suicide. A 2011 survey conducted by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and National Center for Transgender Equality showed that 41% of trans people had attempted suicide, as compared to 1.6% of the general population.
6. How does therapy help people who are questioning their gender?
For some, experiencing gender dysphoria or questioning their gender identity can be scary, trigger feelings of shame or secrecy, and can feel unclear to know how to understand and accept these parts of self. Anyone who is curious, unsure, or exploring parts of their identity can benefit from therapy and insight work, as it aims to provide a safe, non-judgmental space for people to express parts of themselves and their identity that they may not feel comfortable sharing with others. A gender-affirming therapy space should feel free from bias, influence, or pressure to change or present oneself one way or another, and allows individuals to determine their therapeutic goals and direction at their own pace.
In therapy, people are able to share their story, express their feelings about how their experiences have affected them, and use narrative, symbolism, and imagery to make sense of it all. In a safe and affirming therapeutic space, we can uncover our most authentic selves and learn how to embrace and understand every part of us and our journey.
7. How do you approach therapy for trans people? Are there any unique techniques you utilize when helping trans people?
A gender-affirming, nonjudgmental, trauma-informed, person-centered approach is always how I will work with trans and gender nonconforming individuals coming to therapy. As is true with anyone who is coming to me for therapy, my primary goal is always to create a safe, confidential, affirming, curious, open-minded space for clients to be able to do their best work and feel comfortable, while being mindful and informed of population specific needs, resources, and supports that might be available to them. I find that having a thorough knowledge of community resources, gender affirming and informed medical care providers, and safe spaces for trans and queer folk to connect with others is important when supporting people who are part of the queer community.
A trained therapist can help individuals create goals that best align with their needs, level of comfort talking about or exploring certain topics and themes, and timeline. Self-reflective and existentially focused processes such as journaling, writing prompts, collage, self-portraiture, and anything that helps a person understand how they feel or how they understand themselves are usually a big part of my work with clients who are transitioning or exploring themes of identity and gender.
Sources:
