How to be Single on Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day can be a sore spot for single folks. Walking through the grocery store aisles filled with cards, flowers, stuffed animals, and chocolates can make you feel like you’re the only single person in the world.
Being single on Valentine’s Day can bring up feelings of loneliness or feelings of being an outsider. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. We’re here to change your emotional framework if you’re dreading being single this year.
The Benefits of Being Single
Our society tends to favor marriage over being single. In the PsycINFO database, which is a platform that hosts all of the psychology research and studies, there are over 19,000 articles about marriage and the benefits and struggles it entails. There are only 500 articles written about being single.
Most of the research around single folks focuses on the psychology of loneliness, and not on the benefits of the status. Married people are more likely to be associated with happiness and health, while single people are viewed as lonely and unhappy. There are people who live their most authentic, true lives as single adults. And psychological research has largely ignored them.
However, there is research that shows the major benefits of being single. According to this study, single people live healthier lifestyles. The study concluded that people who have never been married exercise the most.
Another study found that single people have more time for their platonic relationships. Maintaining friendships is an important part of mental stability and can lead to a happier life. This study found that 44% of singles have social relationships with their neighbors as opposed to 23% of couples. More impressively, 70% of singles actively make time to hang out with their friends in comparison to 25% of married couples.
Being single does not have to be viewed as a negative. There are plenty of other areas in life that joy can be derived from besides marriage and parenting.
Single people tend to have more time on their hands compared to their married-with-children counterparts, which leaves lots of room for prioritizing friendships, hobbies, and other activities that bring them joy.
Treating Yourself on Valentine’s Day
If you’re single and feeling down about it this Valentine’s Day, take some time to prioritize yourself and bring some joy into your day.
1. Focus on Your Friends
As we already established, single folks are much better at creating and maintaining platonic relationships than those in romantic partnerships. Lean into your friends on Valentine’s Day. If you have other single friends in your area, plan a dinner or a game night and spend some quality time together. That way, if you’re feeling lonely, you will be surrounded by people who appreciate you and hopefully curb that loneliness.
2. Do Something Nice for a Stranger
When you’re getting your daily morning coffee, buy the coffee for the person behind you in line. Hold the door open for a stranger. Volunteer at a local animal shelter or a food shelter.
When we do things for other people, it helps build our social connections which in turn, make us healthier and happier. It can bring you closer to your community and make you feel like you’re contributing to something bigger than yourself. So, if you’re feeling down this Valentine’s Day, make a plan to help out those in your community.
3. Reflect on Past Relationships
If you recently went through a breakup, or even if it’s been a while since your last relationship, spend some time reflecting on them. Don’t dwell but think about what made you appreciate the relationship and what the downfalls of it were.
Sometimes reflecting on events or milestones in life can help us gain some clarity on what we’re looking for in the future.
4. Change Your Perception of Being Single
If you’re feeling lonely as February 14 approaches, spend some time on Valentine’s Day writing a list of all the relationships in your life that you’re grateful for. Think about the joy and happiness your family members and friends bring to your life.
You can give friends or colleagues whom you haven’t spoken with in a while a phone call to catch up. You can send your loved ones Valentine’s Day cards in the mail. Whatever it may be, just be sure to focus on all of the positive relationships you have.
5. Meet New People
Even if you’re not ready for a new romantic relationship quite yet, signing up for online dating services like Bumble or Hinge are good ways to get yourself out there again. Most dating apps also have a function for finding friends if you’re looking for a platonic relationship instead.
If you or someone you love is struggling with loneliness, please reach out to us. Our team of therapists is here to provide support and guidance. We look forward to connecting with you.
