Bullying Prevention Month: Parenting Edition
Last week we discussed how bullying affects a child’s mental health in honor of Bullying Prevention Month. Today, we’re going to walk you through how to parent a child that is experiencing bullying.
Unfortunately, bullying is a common experience in childhood and has only been exacerbated by cyber bullying online and on social media platforms. If you suspect your child is being bullying, it’s okay; there are plenty of ways you can support your child to lessen the emotional impact and even work to stop it.
What is bullying?
According to the Oxford Dictionary, bullying is defined as ‘to frighten or hurt a weaker person; to use strength or power to make somebody to something.” There are different types of bullying, such as physical bullying, verbal bullying, and social bullying.
Physical bullying includes any sort of physical attack like hitting, kicking, tripping, pinching, pushing, punching, or damaging property. Verbal bullying is using harmful language such as name calling, insults, teasing, intimidation, or verbal abuse. Social bullying is harder to recognize than verbal or physical. It is designed to humiliate someone or harm someone’s social reputation and can be carried out behind someone’s back.
With our new era of technology, another type of bullying has popped up: cyber bullying. Cyber bullying occurs online, often through social media platforms. Cyber bullying is particularly dangerous because it can be done completely anonymously behind a phone or computer screen. This type of bullying can include abusive or harmful texts, posts, photos, or videos, deliberately excluding others online, spreading rumors, or imitating others by using their log in.
What are signs my child is being bullied?
It’s important to monitor your child’s emotions and look for any changes in their behavior if you’re worried they’re being bullied at school.
Seems afraid of going to school, riding the bus, or taking part in organized activities
Comes home frequently with unexplained cuts, bruises, or scratches
Doesn’t have a lot of friends in school, seems lonely
Loses interest in schoolwork or suddenly begins to perform poorly academically
Appears moody or sad when coming home from school
Loss of appetite or sleep
Appears anxious and suffers from low self-esteem
How can I support my child?
If your child is being bullied, it’s important you approach the situation with a plan to help them understand that it is never their fault and that you’re there to support them.
It’s not up to a child to prevent their own bullying, but it’s helpful to have a plan in place to stop it from escalating. Here are some ideas on how you can support your child:
1. Create a response list
Work with your child to create a list of responses for when they’re experiencing bullying. They should be simple and direct but not antagonize further violence or meanness. These could include “back off” or “that wasn’t nice” but could also be things like “yeah, whatever” to show that it doesn’t affect them.
Whatever list of comebacks you create with your child, make sure they aren’t put-downs because that can aggravate bullies and lead to more harm.
2. Encourage positive body language
You can teach your child tricks that may help them feel empowered in difficult situations like being bullied. Tell your child to practice looking at the color of their friends’ eyes and encourage them do to the same thing when another child is bothering them. Keeping your head up makes you appear more confident.
3. Role-play different scenarios
Another way to help your child have confidence in difficult situations is to role-play ‘what if’ scenarios with them. You can pretend to be the bully and help them work through different responses until they feel confident they can handle the situation on their own. Help them speak with conviction in a strong voice.
4. Promote open communication
Make sure you’re checking in with your children daily about how things are going at school. Speak to them in a calm, friendly tone to create a nurturing climate they feel comfortable in. That way, your child will come to you when they’re experiencing something difficult they need help with. Remind them that you always support them and that you’re on their side.
If you are concerned that your child is experiencing bullying and you need support, please reach out to us. Our team of therapists is here to provide support and guidance. We look forward to connecting with you.
