Interview with a queer affirming therapist
Happy Pride Month! This month, we’d love to spotlight one of our fantastic therapists at Sage House. Lauren Campbell is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and a Registered, Board Certified Art Therapist (ART-BC). She has specialized experience and training in supporting LGBTQIA+ individuals, specifically transgender clients or those questioning their gender identity. She has extensive experience working with adolescents and young adults, utilizing evidence-based approaches in her work, including art therapy, sand tray therapy and CBT. Her expertise includes working with individuals with depression, anxiety and those experiencing difficult life transitions. She also provides perinatal and post-natal support. Additionally, Lauren provides therapy to clients experiencing impulse control, anger management, recent losses or trauma and PTSD. We got the chance to sit down and speak with Lauren about some LGBTQIA+ issues that arise in therapy.
To start off, what are some LGBTQIA+ terms that would be most helpful to know?
Having a knowledge of important terms about sexuality and gender identity can help us facilitate more meaningful, non-judgmental conversations and better understand ourselves and those we interact with.
One term I like to start with is the word “queer.” Queer is a term that describes a person who is not heterosexual (“straight”) and/or cisgender (identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth). In the past, queer has been used by some with a negative or pejorative tone for people who are gay, however, more recently it is being embraced as an inclusive term for all LGBTQIA+ individuals. The term is valued by many LGBTQ+ people and those who find it to be an appropriate term to describe their more fluid identities.
It is important to be informed about appropriate terms describing one’s sexuality or gender identity to ensure we are not implementing incorrect or hurtful labels that may be used to invalidate or degrade LGBTQIA+ individuals.
Gender: is often defined as a social construct of norms, behaviors and roles that varies between societies and over time. Gender is often categorized as male, female or nonbinary.
Sex: refers to a person’s biological status and is typically assigned at birth, usually on the basis of external anatomy. Sex is typically categorized as male, female or intersex.
Gender Identity: is one’s own internal sense of self and their gender, whether that is man, woman, neither or both. Unlike gender expression, gender identity is not outwardly visible to others.
Gender Expression: is how a person presents gender outwardly, through behavior, clothing, voice or other perceived characteristics. Society identifies these cues as masculine or feminine, although what is considered masculine or feminine changes over time and varies by culture.
Nonbinary: Adjective. A person who’s gender identity does not conform to the gender binary, which is the erroneous idea that only two distinct and opposite genders exist, male and female. In reality, many genders exist (see Gender Nonconforming). Some nonbinary people identify with more than one gender, while others don’t identify with any. There are many ways to be nonbinary, and everyone’s experience with gender is different.
Gender Nonconforming: Adjective. Someone whose gender identity and/or gender expression does not conform to the cultural or social expectations of gender, particularly in relation to male or female (see also Nonbinary). This can be an umbrella term for many identities including, but not limited to:
Genderfluid – someone whose gender identity and/or expression varies over time.
Genderqueer (or third gender) – someone whose gender identity and/or expression falls between or outside of male and female.
Intersex: Adjective. Someone who, due to a variety of factors, has reproductive or sexual anatomy that do not seem to fit the typical definitions for the female or male sex. Some people who are intersex may identify with the gender assigned to them at birth, while many others do not.
Cisgender, or cis: is an adjective that describes a person whose gender identity aligns with the sex they were assigned at birth.
Transgender, or trans: is an adjective used to describe someone whose gender identity differs from the sex assigned at birth. A transgender man, for example, is someone who was listed as female at birth but whose gender identity is male
Gender transition is a process a person may take to bring themselves and/or their bodies into alignment with their gender identity. It’s not just one step. Transitioning can include any, none or all of the following: telling one’s friends, family and co-workers; changing one’s name and pronouns; updating legal documents; medical interventions such as hormone therapy; or surgical intervention, often called gender confirmation surgery.
Gender dysphoria refers to psychological distress that results from an incongruence between one’s sex assigned at birth and one’s gender identity. Not all trans people experience dysphoria, and those who do may experience it at varying levels of intensity.
Sexual Orientation: refers to the enduring physical, romantic and/or emotional attraction to members of the same and/or other genders, including lesbian, gay, bisexual and straight orientations.
Gay: Someone who is attracted to those of their same gender. This is often used as an umbrella term, but is used more specifically to describe men who are attracted to men. (NOTE: Avoid using the term “homosexual.” Because of the clinical history of the word, many feel that the term suggests that gay people are somehow diseased or psychologically/emotionally disordered.)
Lesbian: A woman who is attracted to other women. Some lesbians prefer to identify as gay women.
Bisexual, or bi: Someone who is attracted to those of their same gender as well as to those of a different gender (for example, a woman who is attracted to both women and men). Some people use the word bisexual as an umbrella term to describe individuals that are attracted to more than one gender. In this way, the term is closely related to pansexual, or omnisexual, meaning someone who is attracted to people of any gender identity.
Pansexual, or pan: Adjective. Someone who is attracted to people of any or all genders. Some people use the word pansexual as an umbrella term to describe individuals that are attracted to more than one gender.
Asexual, or ace: Someone who experiences little or no sexual attraction, or who experiences attraction but doesn’t feel the need to act out that attraction sexually. Many people who are asexual still identify with a specific sexual orientation.
Questioning (GI, GE, SO): Noun, verb. A time in many people’s lives when they question or experiment with their gender expression, gender identity, and/or sexual orientation. This experience is unique to everyone; for some, it can last a lifetime or be repeated many times over the course of a lifetime
Definitions courtesy of It Gets Better
What’s the difference between gender identity and sexual orientation?
To put it simply, gender identity is about how one sees themselves pertaining to their sense of self and their gender, whether that is male, female, neither, both, or as a part of identity that varies with a degree of fluidity at different times in one’s life. Sexual orientation is about who you are attracted to.
Can you speak more to the concept that gender and sexuality are a spectrum and can be fluid throughout the lifetime?
For most people, I think it is easy to recognize that one’s sense of self and the traits that make up one’s identity can change significantly over a lifetime. However, for many, I think the idea that one’s gender identity, gender expression, sexual orientation, and sexuality areas subject to change, discovery, and exploration as any other part of self might strike some as a novel concept. Especially if someone has seldom found themselves in spaces where safe, nonjudgmental conversations about these parts of self have been discussed. You can find a great explanation of the gender/sexuality spectrum here.
How can I find a queer affirmative therapist? (or how do I know if my current therapist is queer affirming?)
Queer affirmative therapy is an approach to therapy that embraces a positive view of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer (LGBTQ) identities and relationships, while also addressing the negative influences that homophobia, transphobia, and heterosexism have on the lives of LGBTQIA+ clients.
When searching for a queer affirmative therapist, you want to be looking for therapists who are certified to practice queer affirmative therapy or have additional training on how to support queer clients. For some, a sense of comfort or assurance that your therapist will be queer affirmative could include finding a therapist who identifies as LGBTQIA+ as well. Above all, it is encouraged and perfectly appropriate to ask your potential new therapist or health practitioner about their experience, training, identity, and/or approaches to therapy with LGBTQIA+ individuals. A therapist who is serious about providing queer affirmative practice will answer questions coming from clients/potential clients. I think these are important pieces of information to include, as some practitioners may have limited exposure or experience working with LGBTQIA+ individuals, or may even have opposing political, personal, or religious beliefs that could potentially impede their ability to provide unbiased and affirmative care to queer clients.
“Queer friendly” and queer affirmative practices are two terms that are sometimes used interchangeably, though they do not describe the same thing. A “queer-friendly” space may be accepting of queer people but the organization or therapist may not have the skills to provide appropriate therapy and support.
How can I support my teen who is questioning their gender and/or sexual identity?
At increasing rates, more adolescents are feeling open to exploring their sexual and gender identities and bringing these topics into conversations with their parents and family members. For parents who are wondering how they may best support their child who is questioning their sexual or gender identity, open-minded, non-judgmental conversations are key. Being aware of your own biases and emotional reactions to your child’s process will help you guide them from a grounded parental approach versus one that comes from a place of fear or worry. Finding ways to address your own emotional response internally and to approach questions of identity with your teen will help create a sense of understanding and mutual respect between you.
Talking with your teen about the meanings of labels and words can also provide important opportunities to learn about how pressures of societal acceptance and belonging may also impact their experience with questioning their identity. Parents play an important role in helping adolescents work through their process of understanding their sexuality and gender identity. Pursuing understanding and a trusting relationship, removing pressure, and finding support from trustworthy people can strengthen family relationships and help your teen focus on navigating this journey well within a safe, supportive, and loving environment.
You work with clients who are considering gender transitions. How do you as a therapist support this part of their journey?
Whether clients are coming to therapy actively transitioning, having transitioned at some point in the past, or who may be questioning their gender identity, I find it is most important to meet them where they are with informed insight about the existential tasks, risks, challenges, and experiences that may come along with each step of the journey.
With all of my clients, I want to make sure each individual feels they have the space to safely explore, question, and step into new definitions of who they are in judgement-free context and find the answers they are looking for at their own pace. I think there is a lot of discomfort that comes with being in a period of questioning who we are and what we want as we are confronted with the uncertainty of how these new definitions may change our way of life or the way people perceive us. It is normal to feel fear, hesitation, to change one’s course several times, and to take time in making significant life changes. I always want my clients to feel that their emotional experience is valid and to acknowledge the strength in each step towards coming into their most authentic understanding of self.
Any more resources you would like to share?
Yes! Check out:
Are you looking for more support for yourself or a loved one? Please reach out to us. Our team of therapists is here to provide support and guidance. We look forward to connecting with you.
