Does the New Year give you an excuse to start a list of things you want to improve about yourself or your routine? Do you vow to start eating healthier, work out more often or read more books? You’re not alone! It’s very common to use the start of the New Year as a way to try and improve our lives.

According to this study, nearly half of all American adults make New Year’s resolutions. Only 10 percent of those adults manage to keep their New Year’s resolutions for more than a few months.

Why do we make New Year’s resolutions for ourselves? And more importantly, why is it so hard for us to keep them?

Even though it is extremely hard for us to keep New Year’s resolutions, and we almost never succeed, there is something very tempting about the idea of turning over a new leaf. The most common resolutions include losing weight, working out more often, quitting smoking and saving money. These are all pretty big life changes.

The main reason we can’t maintain our resolutions is because we either set too many goals, or the goals that we do set are unrealistic and hard to achieve. This is also known as the ‘false hope syndrome.’ The false hope syndrome is defined as underestimating the amount of time and effort it will take us to achieve a goal.

Humans love immediate gratification. Instant gratification is when we want to experience pleasure without any delay. Waiting is difficult for us, and we have an innate desire to have what we want, when we want it.

If one of our many resolutions is to start working out more, and we happen to fall off the wagon due to life circumstances, then we are likely to just give up the resolution all together since we were not able to see results right away. Improving our physical physique takes a lot of time and effort, which is why we tend to feel unmotivated or hopeless when it comes to incorporating more activity into our lives.

So should we just give up resolutions all together? No! The New Year can be a great time to start a new routine or try to improve our lifestyles.

But why would I make a list of resolutions if it’s unlikely I’ll be able to keep them? There’s a better way to write your New Year’s resolutions, which will increase the likeliness of them ‘sticking.’

1. Identify your values

If one of your resolutions is to lose weight, identify where that desire comes from. Do you want to be thinner or stronger because of external pressures or internal desires? For example, do you want to lose weight because your friends are all thinner and you want them to approve of your physique? Or do you want to lose weight because you want to live a healthier lifestyle and to feel more vibrant? Goals with internal motivations are a lot more likely to succeed than goals with external pressures.

2. Identify your value-guided goals

Once you identify your values, you can think of goals that align with them. If you want to learn more or increase your vocabulary, you can set a goal to read more books in the New Year. If you want to live a healthier lifestyle, you can create goals like working out more, eating healthier, or quitting smoking.

When you are setting these goals, make sure you make them tangible and achievable. Instead of just saying “eat healthier,” you can have a side salad every day with lunch or dinner. Instead of “lose weight,” set a goal to lose 1-5 lbs. every month. Create a calendar for yourself with a new workout routine and be sure to include rest days and account for vacations, social events and your family time.

3. Create an environment to support your resolutions

Whatever your goal is, make sure you’re supporting yourself along with others in your life like your significant other or family members. If your resolution is to save money, think of ideas for fun nights at home like movie marathons or trying a new recipe. You can also write down your goals and put them somewhere in your home that you will see them often. If our goals are at the top of our mind, we’re more likely to accomplish them.

4. Track your progress

No matter what your resolutions are, identify some way to track your progress. Write down how many pages of a book you read each week or how much money you save each month.

5. Be gracious with yourself

If you begin falling short of your goals, don’t punish yourself. Life happens. Instead of giving up entirely, just pick up your routine the next day, week, or month. When we are kind to ourselves, we set ourselves up for success.

If you would like more support in 2022, please reach out to us. Our team of therapists is here to provide support and guidance. We look forward to connecting with you.

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Kate Tedeschi

Kate is the Founder and Clinical Director of Sage House Counseling & Art Therapy. With nearly ten years of clinical experience, I partner with you to connect back to your authentic, true self. The self that desires happiness, abundance, and greater self-compassion. I work with clients just like you because I believe we all have the innate ability to heal and grow when we are heard and supported.